Thoughts on loss of my healthy self.
Something that I’ve always prided myself on is the capacity to drop everything and be able to support someone. I am an introvert, but one of the ways that I gain energy is from helping others. Hence, why even though I’m introverted as all get out, I enjoy teaching. When I was healthier (I say this because looking back I don’t know if I was ever actually healthy), I was able to do this, no matter the time or circumstance. I guess you could say that I also had crap boundaries and was a people pleaser, but because this was something I enjoyed doing, I got something out of listening and offering advice to others, I thought it was okay. In the last few years, as my mental health plummeted in response to being in such a toxic, unsustainable work environment, my fear at the state of the world, and now the Pandemic, I found myself, for the first time in my life, unable to be there for others. It was a very, very hard realization. It hurts that I cannot help others ...